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» Yeremia 23 & Ulangan 13 mengisyaratkan Muhammad nabi palsu
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» kenapa muhammad suka makan babi????
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» NYATA & FAKTA : TERNYATA YESUS PILIH MENGAULI KELEDAI DARIPADA WANITA!!! (sebuah penghinaan OLEH PAULUS)
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» SORGA ISLAM RUMAH PELACUR ALLOH SWT...........
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» Moon Split or Islamic Hoax?
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» Who Taught Allah Math?
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» BISNIS GEREJA YUUUKZ....LUMAYAN LOH UNTUNGNYA....
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» ISLAM: Palsu, Maut, Tak Akan Tobat, Amburadul
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Funny & Absurd Hadist Empty Funny & Absurd Hadist

Post by wang_pe_sek Wed 31 Dec 2008, 7:55 pm

Funny & Absurd Hadist

  1. Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 12. Hadith 812 -- Narrated By Ibn 'Umar : During the holy battle of Khaibar the Prophet said, "Whoever ate from this plant (i.e. garlic) should not enter our mosque."


  2. Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 12. Hadith 813 -- Narrated By 'Ata' : I heard Jabir bin 'Abdullah saying, "The Prophet said, 'Whoever eats (from) this plant (he meant garlic) should keep away from our mosque." I said, "What does he mean by that?" He replied, "I think he means only raw garlic."


  3. Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 12. Hadith 814 -- Narrated By Jabir bin 'Abdullah : The Prophet said, "Whoever eats garlic or onion should keep away from our mosque or should remain in his house." (Jabir bin 'Abdullah, in another narration said, "Once a big pot containing cooked vegetables was brought. On finding unpleasant smell coming from it, the Prophet asked, 'What is in it?' He was told all the names of the vegetables that were in it. The Prophet ordered that it should be brought near to some of his companions who were with him. When the Prophet saw it he disliked to eat it and said, 'Eat. (I don't eat) for I converse with those whom you don't converse with (i.e. the angels)."


  4. Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 12. Hadith 815 -- Narrated By 'Abdul 'Aziz : A man asked Anas, "What did you hear from the Prophet about garlic?" He said, "The Prophet said, 'Whoever has eaten this plant should neither come near us nor pray with us."


  5. Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 4, Number 139 -- Narrated 'Abbas bin Tamim: My uncle asked Allah's Apostle about a person who imagined to have passed wind during the prayer. Allah' Apostle replied: "He should not leave his prayers unless he hears sound or smells something."


  6. Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 6, Number 301 -- Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: Once Allah's Apostle went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) o 'Id-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, "O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women)." They asked, "Why is it so, O Allah's Apostle ?" He replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you." The women asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?" He said, "Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?" They replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn't it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?" The women replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her religion."


  7. Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 6, Number 315 -- Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Prophet said, "At every womb Allah appoints an angel who says, 'O Lord! A drop of semen, O Lord! A clot. O Lord! A little lump of flesh." Then if Allah wishes (to complete) its creation, the angel asks, (O Lord!) Will it be a male or female, a wretched or a blessed, and how much will his provision be? And what will his age be?' So all that is written while the child is still in the mother's womb."


  8. Sahih Bukhari Volume 2, Book 13. Friday Prayer. Hadith 041 -- Narrated By Jabir bin 'Abdullah : The Prophet used to stand by a stem of a date-palm tree (while delivering a sermon). When the pulpit was placed for him we heard that stem crying like a pregnant she-camel till the Prophet got down from the pulpit and placed his hand over it.


  9. Sahih Bukhari Volume 2, Book 17, Number 149 -- Narrated Ibn 'Umar: Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) said, "Keys of the unseen knowledge are five which nobody knows but Allah . . . nobody knows what will happen tomorrow; nobody knows what is in the womb; nobody knows what he will gain tomorrow; nobody knows at what place he will die; and nobody knows when it will rain."


  10. Sahih Bukhari Volume 2, Book 18. Eclipses. Hadith 167 -- Narrated By Abu Musa : The sun eclipsed and the Prophet got up, being afraid that it might be the Hour (i.e. Day of Judgment). He went to the Mosque and offered the prayer with the longest Qiyam, bowing and prostration that I had ever seen him doing. Then he said, "These signs which Allah sends do not occur because of the life or death of somebody, but Allah makes His worshipers afraid by them. So when you see anything thereof, proceed to remember Allah, invoke Him and ask for His forgiveness. "


  11. Sahih Bukhari Volume 2, Book 21, Number 245 -- Narrated 'Abdullah: A person was mentioned before the Prophet (p.b.u.h) and he was told that he had kept on sleeping till morning and had not got up for the prayer. The Prophet said, "Satan urinated in his ears."


  12. Sahih Bukhari Volume 2, Book 21. Hadith 245 -- Narrated By 'Abdullah : A person was mentioned before the Prophet (p.b.u.h) and he was told that he had kept on sleeping till morning and had not got up for the prayer. The Prophet said, "Satan urinated in his ears."


  13. Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 34, Number 299 -- Narrated 'Aun bin Abu Juhaifa: My father bought a slave who practiced the profession of cupping. (My father broke the slave's instruments of cupping). I asked my father why he had done so. He replied, "THE PROPHET FORBADE THE ACCEPTANCE OF THE PRICE OF A DOG or blood, and also forbade the profession of tattooing, getting tattooed and receiving or giving Riba, (usury), and cursed the picture-makers. "


  14. Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 43, Number 652 -- Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "While a man was on the way, he found a thorny branch of a tree there on the way and removed it. Allah thanked him for that deed and forgave him."


  15. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 477 -- Narrated Al-Bara (bin Azib): The Prophet, after the death of his son Ibrahim, said, "There is a wet-nurse for him (i.e. Ibrahim) in Paradise."


  16. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 509 -- Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible, for if anyone of you (during the act of yawning) should say: 'Ha', Satan will laugh at him."


  17. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 513 -- Narrated Abu Qatada: The Prophet said, "A good dream is from Allah, and a bad or evil dream is from Satan; so if anyone of you has a bad dream of which he gets afraid, he should spit on his left side and should seek Refuge with Allah from its evil, for then it will not harm him."


  18. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 516 -- Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "If anyone of you rouses from sleep and performs the ablution, he should wash his nose by putting water in it and then blowing it out thrice, because Satan has stayed in the upper part of his nose all the night."


  19. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 524 -- Narrated By Abu Huraira : The Prophet said, "A group of Israelites were lost. Nobody knows what they did. But I do not see them except that they were cursed and changed into rats, for if you put the milk of a she-camel in front of a rat, it will not drink it, but if the milk of a sheep is put in front of it, it will drink it." I told this to Ka'b who asked me, "Did you hear it from the Prophet ?" I said, "Yes." Ka'b asked me the same question several times.; I said to Ka'b. "Do I read the Torah? (i.e. I tell you this from the Prophet.)"

  20. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 537 -- Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said "If a house fly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease."


  21. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 537 -- Narrated By Abu Huraira : The Prophet said "If a house fly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease."

  22. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 539 -- Narrated By Abu Talha : The Prophet said, "Angels do not enter a house witch has either a dog or a picture in it."


  23. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 540 -- Narrated By 'Abdullah bin 'Umar : Allah's Apostle ordered that the dogs should be killed.


  24. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 542 -- Narrated Sufyan bin Abi Zuhair Ash-Shani: That he heard Allah's Apostle saying, "If somebody keeps a dog that is neither used for farm work nor for guarding the livestock, he will lose one Qirat (of the reward) of his good deeds everyday."


  25. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54. Hadith 509 -- Narrated By Abu Huraira : The Prophet said, "Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible, for if anyone of you (during the act of yawning) should say: 'Ha', Satan will laugh at him."


  26. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 55, Number 543 -- Narrated By Abu Huraira : The Prophet said, "Allah created Adam, making him 60 cubits tall. When He created him, He said to him, "Go and greet that group of angels, and listen to their reply, for it will be your greeting (salutation) and the greeting (salutations of your offspring." So, Adam said (to the angels), As-Salamu Alaikum (i.e. Peace be upon you). The angels said, "As-salamu Alaika wa Rahmatu-l-lahi" (i.e. Peace and Allah's Mercy be upon you). Thus the angels added to Adam's salutation the expression, 'Wa Rahmatu-l-lahi, ' Any person who will enter Paradise will resemble Adam (in appearance and figure). People have been decreasing in stature since Adam's creation.


  27. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 55, Number 546 -- ............ ......... ......... ......... ... "As for the resemblance of the child to its parents; if a man has sexual intercourse with his wife and gets a discharge first, the child will resemble the father, and if the woman gets her discharge first, the child will resemble her."


  28. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 55, Number 648 -- Narrated Ibn Umar: The Prophet said, "I saw Moses, Jesus and Abraham (on the night of my Ascension to the heavens). Jesus was of red complexion, curly hair and a broad chest. Moses was of brown complexion, straight hair and tall stature as if he was from the people of Az-Zutt."


  29. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 55, Number 649 - Narrated Abdullah: The Prophet mentioned the Massiah Ad-Dajjal in front of the people saying, Allah is not one eyed while Messsiah, Ad-Dajjal is blind in the right eye and his eye looks like a bulging out grape. While sleeping near the Ka'ba last night, I saw in my dream a man of brown color the best one can see amongst brown color and his hair was long that it fell between his shoulders. His hair was lank and water was dribbling from his head and he was placing his hands on the shoulders of two men while circumambulating the Kaba. I asked, 'Who is this?' They replied, 'This is Jesus, son of Mary.' Behind him I saw a man who had very curly hair and was blind in the right eye, resembling Ibn Qatan (i.e. an infidel) in appearance. He was placing his hands on the shoulders of a person while performing Tawaf around the Ka'ba. I asked, 'Who is this? 'They replied, 'The Masih, Ad-Dajjal.' "

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Post by wang_pe_sek Wed 31 Dec 2008, 7:55 pm


  1. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 56, Number 783 -- Narrated By Ibn Umar : The Prophet used to deliver his sermons while standing beside a trunk of a datepalm. When he had the pulpit made, he used it instead. The trunk started crying and the Prophet went to it, rubbing his hand over it (to stop its crying).


  2. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 56, Number 784 -- Narrated By Jabir bin 'Abdullah : The Prophet used to stand by a tree or a date-palm on Friday. Then an Ansari woman or man said. "O Allah's Apostle! Shall we make a pulpit for you?" He replied, "If you wish." So they made a pulpit for him and when it was Friday, he proceeded towards the pulpit (for delivering the sermon). The date-palm cried like a child! The Prophet descended (the pulpit) and embraced it while it continued moaning like a child being quietened. The Prophet said, "It was crying for (missing) what it used to hear of religious knowledge given near to it."


  3. Sahih Bukhari Volume 5, Book 58, Number 188 -- Narrated By 'Amr bin Maimun : During the pre-lslamic period of ignorance I saw a she-monkey surrounded by a number of monkeys. They were all stoning it, because it had committed illegal sexual intercourse. I too, stoned it along with them.


  4. Sahih Bukhari Volume 5, Book 59, Number 709 -- Narrated Abu Bakra: During the days (of the battle) of Al-Jamal, Allah benefited me with a word I had heard from Allah's Apostle after I had been about to join the Companions of Al-Jamal (i.e. the camel) and fight along with them. When Allah's Apostle was informed that the Persians had crowned the daughter of Khosrau as their ruler, he said, "Such people as ruled by a lady will never be successful."


  5. Sahih Bukhari Volume 5, Book 59. Hadith 526 -- Narrated By Ibn Umar : On the day of Khaiber, Allah's Apostle forbade the eating of garlic and the meat of donkeys.


  6. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 30 -- Narrated Abdullah bin 'Umar: Allah's Apostle said, "Evil omen is in the women, the house and the horse.'


  7. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 65, Number 306 -- Narrated Ibn 'Umar: Allah's Apostle said, "A believer eats in one intestine (is satisfied with a little food), and a kafir (unbeliever) or a hypocrite eats in seven intestines."


  8. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 65, Number 356 -- Narrated Sad: Allah's Apostle said, "He who eats seven 'Ajwa dates every morning, will not be affected by poison or magic on the day he eats them."


  9. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 65, Number 366 -- Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet said, 'When you eat, do not wipe your hands till you have licked it, or had it licked by somebody else."


  10. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 65. Food, Meals. Hadith 363 -- Narrated By Jabir bin 'Abdullah : The Prophet said, "Whoever has eaten garlic or onion should keep away from us (or should keep away from our mosque)."


  11. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 67, Number 403 -- Narrated Ibn Abi Aufa: We participated with the Prophet in six or seven Ghazawat, and we used to eat locusts with him.


  12. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 69, Number 494B -- Narrated By Abu 'Amir or Abu Malik Al-Ash'ari : That he heard the Prophet saying, "From among my followers there will be some people who will consider illegal sexual intercourse, the wearing of silk, the drinking of alcoholic drinks and the use of musical instruments, as lawful. And there will be some people who will stay near the side of a mountain and in the evening their shepherd will come to them with their sheep and ask them for something, but they will say to him, 'Return to us tomorrow.' Allah will destroy them during the night and will let the mountain fall on them, and He will transform the rest of them into monkeys and pigs and they will remain so till the Day of Resurrection. "


  13. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 71. Medicine. Hadith 590 -- Narrated By Anas : The climate of Medina did not suit some people, so the Prophet ordered them to follow his shepherd, i.e. his camels, and drink their milk and urine (as a medicine). So they followed the shepherd that is the camels and drank their milk and urine till their bodies became healthy. Then they killed the shepherd and drove away the camels. When the news reached the Prophet he sent some people in their pursuit. When they were brought, he cut their hands and feet and their eyes were branded with heated pieces of iron.


  14. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 71. Medicine. Hadith 623 -- Narrated By Anas bin Malik : Some people from the tribes of 'Ukl and 'Uraina came to Allah's Apostle and embraced Islam and said, "O Allah's Apostle! We are owners of livestock and have never been farmers," and they found the climate of Medina unsuitable for them. So Allah's Apostle ordered that they be given some camels and a shepherd, and ordered them to go out with those camels and drink their milk and urine. So they set out, but when they reached a place called Al-Harra, they reverted to disbelief after their conversion to Islam, killed the shepherd and drove away the camels. When this news reached the Prophet he sent in their pursuit (and they were caught and brought). The Prophet ordered that their eyes be branded with heated iron bars and their hands be cut off, and they were left at Al-Harra till they died in that state.


  15. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 71. Medicine. Hadith 658 -- Narrated By 'Aisha : A man called Labid bin al-A'sam from the tribe of Bani Zaraiq worked magic on Allah's Apostle till Allah's Apostle started imagining that he had done a thing that he had not really done. One day or one night he was with us, he invoked Allah and invoked for a long period, and then said, "O 'Aisha! Do you know that Allah has instructed me concerning the matter I have asked him about? Two men came to me and one of them sat near my head and the other near my feet. One of them said to his companion, "What is the disease of this man?" The other replied, "He is under the effect of magic.' The first one asked, 'Who has worked the magic on him?' The other replied, "Labid bin Al-A'sam.' The first one asked, 'What material did he use?' The other replied, 'A comb and the hairs stuck to it and the skin of pollen of a male date palm.' The first one asked, 'Where is that?' The other replied, '(That is) in the well of Dharwan;' " So Allah's Apostle along with some of his companions went there and came back saying, "O 'Aisha, the color of its water is like the infusion of Henna leaves. The tops of the date-palm trees near it are like the heads of the devils." I asked. "O Allah's Apostle? Why did you not show it (to the people)?" He said, "Since Allah cured me, I disliked to let evil spread among the people." Then he ordered that the well be filled up with earth.


  16. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 71. Medicine. Hadith 660 -- Narrated By 'Aisha : Magic was worked on Allah's Apostle so that he used to think that he had sexual relations with his wives while he actually had not (Sufyan said: That is the hardest kind of magic as it has such an effect). Then one day he said, "O 'Aisha do you know that Allah has instructed me concerning the matter I asked Him about? Two men came to me and one of them sat near my head and the other sat near my feet. The one near my head asked the other. What is wrong with this man?' The latter replied the is under the effect of magic The first one asked, Who has worked magic on him?' The other replied Labid bin Al-A'sam, a man from Bani Zuraiq who was an ally of the Jews and was a hypocrite.' The first one asked, What material did he use)?' The other replied, 'A comb and the hair stuck to it.' The first one asked, 'Where (is that)?' The other replied. 'In a skin of pollen of a male date palm tree kept under a stone in the well of Dharwan' '' So the Prophet went to that well and took out those things and said "That was the well which was shown to me (in a dream) Its water looked like the infusion of Henna leaves and its date-palm trees looked like the heads of devils." The Prophet added, "Then that thing was taken out' I said (to the Prophet) "Why do you not treat yourself with Nashra?" He said, "Allah has cured me; I dislike to let evil spread among my people."


  17. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 71. Medicine. Hadith 663 -- Narrated By Saud : The Prophet said, "If somebody takes some 'Ajwa dates every morning, he will not be effected by poison or magic on that day till night." (Another narrator said seven dates).


  18. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 71. Medicine. Hadith 664 -- Narrated By Saud : I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "If Somebody takes seven 'Ajwa dates in the morning, neither magic nor poison will hurt him that day."


  19. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 71. Medicine. Hadith 673 --Narrated By Abu Huraira : Allah's Apostle said, "If a fly falls in the vessel of any of you, let him dip all of it (into the vessel) and then throw it away, for in one of its wings there is a disease and in the other there is healing (antidote for it) i e. the treatment for that disease."

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Post by wang_pe_sek Wed 31 Dec 2008, 7:56 pm


  1. Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 72, Number 833 -- Narrated Abu Talha: The Prophet said, "Angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or there are pictures."


  2. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 113 -- Narrated Zainab bint Um Salama: Um Sulaim 'O Allah's Apostle! Verily Allah is not shy of (telling you) the truth. Is it essential for a woman to take a bath after she had a wet dream (nocturnal sexual discharges)? ' He said, 'Yes, if she notices discharge. On that Um Salama laughed and said, 'Does a woman get a (nocturnal sexual) discharge?' He said, 'How then does (her) son resemble her (his mother)?'"


  3. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73. Hadith 242 -- Narrated By Abu Huraira : The Prophet said, "Allah likes sneezing and dislikes yawning, so if someone sneezes and then praises Allah, then it is obligatory on every Muslim who heard him, to say: May Allah be merciful to you (Yar-hamuka- l-lah). But as regards yawning, it is from Satan, so one must try one's best to stop it, if one says 'Ha' when yawning, Satan will laugh at him."


  4. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73. Hadith 245 -- Narrated By Abu Huraira : The Prophet said, "Allah loves sneezing but dislikes yawning; so if anyone of you sneezes and then praises Allah, every Muslim who hears him (praising Allah) has to say Tashmit to him. But as regards yawning, it is from Satan, so if one of you yawns, he should try his best to stop it, for when anyone of you yawns, Satan laughs at him."


  5. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 74, Number 286 -- Narrated Ibn 'Umar: The Prophet said, "A man should not make another man get up from his (the latter's) seat in order to sit there.


  6. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 74, Number 300 -- Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri: The Prophet forbade two kinds of dresses: Ishtimal As-Samma and Al-Ihtiba in one garment with no part of it covering one's private parts.


  7. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 76, Number 428 -- Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Allah will not accept the excuse of any person whose moment of death is delayed till he is sixty years of age."


  8. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 76, Number 469 -- Narrated 'Aisha: The most beloved action to Allah's Apostle was that whose doer did it continuously and regularly.


  9. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 76, Number 471 -- Narrated 'Aisha: Allah's Apostle said, "Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately and know that your deeds will not make you enter Paradise, and that the most beloved deed to Allah's is the most regular and constant even though it were little."


  10. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 76, Number 505 -- Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar: I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "People are just like camels, out of one hundred, one can hardly find a single camel suitable to ride."


  11. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 76, Number 531 -- Narrated Ibn Abbas: The Prophet said, "You will meet Allah barefooted, naked, walking on feet, and uncircumcised. "


  12. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 82, Number 799 -- Narrated Sahl bin Sa'd: The Prophet said, "Whoever guarantees me what is between his legs, and what is between his jaws, I guarantee him Paradise."


  13. Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 82, Number 808 -- Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "The boy is for the bed and the stone is for the person who commits illegal sexual intercourse. '


  14. Sahih Bukhari Volume 9, Book 86, Number 86 -- Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Allah does not accept prayer of anyone of you if he does Hadath (passes wind) till he performs the ablution (anew)."


  15. Sahih Bukhari Volume 9, Book 87, Number 130 -- Narrated By Anas bin Malik : Allah's Apostle used to visit Um Haram bint Milhan she was the wife of 'Ubada bin As-Samit. One day the Prophet visited her and she provided him with food and started looking for lice in his head. Then Allah's Apostle slept and afterwards woke up smiling. Um Haram asked, "What makes you smile, O Allah's Apostle?" He said, "Some of my followers were presented before me in my dream as fighters in Allah's Cause, sailing in the middle of the seas like kings on the thrones or like kings sitting on their thrones." (The narrator Ishaq is not sure as to which expression was correct). Um Haram added, 'I said, "O Allah's Apostle! Invoke Allah, to make me one of them;" So Allah's Apostle invoked Allah for her and then laid his head down (and slept). Then he woke up smiling (again). (Um Haram added): I said, "What makes you smile, O Allah's Apostle?" He said, "Some people of my followers were presented before me (in a dream) as fighters in Allah's Cause." He said the same as he had said before. I said, "O Allah's Apostle! Invoke Allah to make me from them." He said, "You are among the first ones." Then Um Haram sailed over the sea during the Caliphate of Muawiya bin Abu Sufyan, and she fell down from her riding animal after coming ashore, and died.



  16. Sahih Muslim Book 001, Number 0325 -- It is narrated on the authority of Ibn 'Umar that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: I saw near the Ka'bah a man of fair complexion with straight hair, placing his hands on two persons. Water was flowing from his head or it was trickling from his head. I asked: Who is he? They said: He is Jesus son of Mary or al-Masih son of Mary. The narrator) says: I do not remember which word it was. He (the Holy Prophet) said: And I saw behind him a man with red complexion and thick curly hair, blind in the right eye. I saw in him the greatest resemblance with Ibn Qitan I asked: Who is he? They replied: It is al-Masih al-Dajjal.

  17. Sahih Muslim Book 002, Number 0504 -- Salman reported that it was said to him: Your Apostle (may peace be upon him) teaches you about everything, even about excrement. He replied: Yes, he has forbidden us to face the Qibla at the time of excretion or urination, or cleansing with right hand or with less than three pebbles, or with dung or bone.


  18. Sahih Muslim Book 002, Number 0506 -- Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) forbade the use of bone or the droppings of camels for wiping (after excretion).


  19. Sahih Muslim Book 002, Number 0551 -- Ibn Mughaffal reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) ordered killing of the dogs, and then said: What about them, i.e. about other dogs? and then granted concession (to keep) the dog for hunting and the dog for (the security) of the herd, and said: When the dog licks the utensil, wash it seven times, and rub it with earth the eighth time.


  20. Sahih Muslim Book 003, Number 0614 -- ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .. The reproductive substance of man is white and that of woman yellow, and when they have sexual intercourse and the male's substance prevails upon the female's substance, it is the male child that is created by Allah's Decree, and when the substance of the female prevails upon the substance contributed by the male, a female child is formed by the Decree of Allah. The Jew said: What you have said is true; verily you are an Apostle. He then returned and went away. The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: He asked me about such and such things of which I have had no knowledge till Allah gave me that.


  21. Sahih Muslim Book 011, Number 3928 -- Usama b. Zaid reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: "A MUSLIM IS NOT ENTITLED TO INHERIT FROM A NON-MUSLIM, and a non-Muslim is not entitled to inherit from a Muslim."


  22. Sahih Muslim Book 026, Number 5523 -- 'Abdullah b. 'Umar reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: If there be bad luck, it is in the house, and the wife, and the horse.


  23. Sahih Muslim Book 026, Number 5523 -- 'Abdullah b. 'Umar reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: If there be bad luck, it is in the house, and the wife, and the horse.


  24. Sahih Muslim Book 030, Number 5654 -- Jabir b. Samura reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: I recognise the stone in Mecca which used to pay me salutations before my advent as a Prophet and I recognise that even now.


  25. Sahih Muslim Book 041, Number 7005 -- Ibn Umar reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). made a mention of Dajjil in the presence of the people and said: Allah is not one-eyed and behold that Dajjal is blind of the right eye and his eye would be like a floating grape.


  26. Sahih Muslim Book 041, Number 7010 -- Hudhalfa reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Dajjal is blind of left eye with thick hair and there would be a garden and fire with him and his fire would be a garden and his garden would be fire.


  27. Sahih Muslim Book 10, Number 3806 -- Rafi b. Khadij reported Allah'& Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The price of a dog is evil, the earning of a prostitute is evil and the earning of a cupper is evil.


  28. Sahih Muslim Book 10, Number 3808 -- Abu Zubair said: I asked Jabir about the price of a dog and a cat; he said: Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) disapproved of that.


  29. Sahih Muslim Book 10, Number 3810 -- Ibn 'Umar (Allah be pleased with them) reported: Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) ordered to kill dogs, and he sent (men) to the corners of Medina that they should be killed.


  30. Sahih Muslim Book 10, Number 3811 -- Abdullah (b. Umar) (Allah be pleased with them) reported: Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) ordered the killing of dogs and we would send (men) in Medina and its corners and we did not spare any dog that we did not kill, so much so that we killed the dog that accompanied the wet she-camel belonging to the people of the desert.

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Funny & Absurd Hadist Empty Re: Funny & Absurd Hadist

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  1. Sahih Muslim Book 10, Number 3813 -- Abu Zubair heard Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with him) saying: Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) ordered us to kill dogs, and we carried out this order so much so that we also kill the dog coming with a woman from the desert. Then Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) forbade their killing. He (the Holy Prophet further) said: It is your duty the jet-black (dog) having two spots (on the eyes), for it is a devil.


  2. Sahih Muslim Book 10, Number Hadith 3809 -- Ibn 'Umar (Allah be pleased with them) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) giving command for killing dogs.


  3. Sahih Muslim Book 23. Drinks. Hadith 5113 -- Ibn 'Umar reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying that a non-Muslim eats in seven intestines whereas a Muslim eats in one intestine.


  4. Sahih Muslim Book 23. Drinks. Hadith 5115 -- Nafi' reported that Ibn 'Umar saw a poor man. He placed food before him and he ate much. He (Ibn 'Umar) said: He should not come to me, for I heard Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying that the non-Muslim eats in seven intestines.


  5. Sahih Muslim Book 23. Drinks. Hadith 5116 -- Ibn 'Umar reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A believer eats in one intestine, whereas a non-believer eats in seven intestines.


  6. Sahih Muslim Book 23. Drinks. Hadith 5118 -- Abu Musa reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A believer eats in one intestine, whereas a non-believer eats in seven intestines.


  7. Sahih Muslim Book 23. Drinks. Hadith 5120 -- Abu Huraira reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) invited a non-Muslim. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) commanded that a goat be milked for him. It was milked and he drank its milk. Then the second one was milked and he drank its milk, and then the other one was milked and he drank its milk till he drank the milk of seven goats. On the next morning he embraced Islam. And Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) commanded that a goat should be milked for him and he drank its milk and then another was milked but he did not finish it, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: A believer drinks In one intestine whereas a non-believer drinks in seven intestines.


  8. Sahih Muslim Book 28, Number 5612 -- Buraida reported on the authority of his father that Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) said: He who played chess is like one who dyed his band with the flesh and blood of swine.


  9. Sahih Muslim Book 4. Prayer. Hadith 0862 -- Jabir b. Samura reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: The people who lift their eyes towards the sky in Prayer should avoid it or they would lose their eyesight.


  10. Sahih Muslim Book 4. Prayer. Hadith 0863 -- Abu Huraira reported: People should avoid lifting their eyes towards the sky while supplicating in prayer, otherwise their eyes would be snatched away.


  11. Sunan Abu Dawud Book 11, Number 2155 -- Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_ him) said: If one of you marries a woman or buys a slave, he should say: "O Allah, I ask Thee for the good in her, and in the disposition Thou hast given her; I take refuge in Thee from the evil in her, and in the disposition Thou hast given her." When he buys a camel, he should take hold of the top of its hump and say the same kind of thing.


  12. Sunan Abu Dawud Book 32, Number 4028 -- Narrated AbuAmir or AbuMalik: AbdurRahman ibn Ghanam al-Ash'ari said: AbuAmir or AbuMalik told me--I swear by Allah another oath that he did not believe me that he heard the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_ him) say: THERE WILL BE AMONG MY COMMUNITY PEOPLE WHO WILL MAKE LAWFUL (THE USE OF) KHAZZ AND SILK. SOME OF THEM WILL BE TRANSFORMED INTO APES AND SWINE."


  13. Sunan Abu Dawud Book 41, Number 5205 -- Narrated Usayd ibn Hudayr: AbdurRahman ibn AbuLayla, quoting Usayd ibn Hudayr, a man of the Ansar, said that while he was given to jesting and was talking to the people and making them laugh, the Prophet (peace_be_upon_ him) poked him under the ribs with a stick. He said: Let me take retaliation. He said: Take retaliation. He said: You are wearing a shirt but I am not. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_ him) then raised his shirt and the man embraced him and began to kiss his side. Then he said: This is what I wanted, Apostle of Allah!


  14. Sunan Abu-Dawud Book 1, Number 0030 -- Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: When the Prophet (peace_be_upon_ him) came out of the privy, he used to say: "Grant me Thy forgiveness. "


  15. Sunan Abu-Dawud Book 1, Number 0041 -- Narrated Khuzaymah ibn Thabit: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_ him) was asked about cleansing (after relieving oneself). He said: (One should cleanse oneself) with three stones which should be free from dung.


  16. Sunan Abu-Dawud Book 1, Number 0070 -- Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_ him) said: None amongst you should urinate in standing water, then wash in it after sexual defilement.


  17. Sunan Abu-Dawud Book 1, Number 0203 -- Narrated Ali ibn AbuTalib: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_ him) said: The eyes are the leather strap of the anus, so one who sleeps should perform ablution.


  18. Sunan Abu-Dawud Book 1, Number 0205 -- Narrated Ali ibn Talq: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_ him) said: When any of you breaks wind during the prayer, he should turn away and perform ablution and repeat the prayer.


  19. Sunan Abu-Dawud Book 1, Number 0248 -- Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_ him) said: There is sexual defilement under every hair; so wash the hair and cleanse the skin.


  20. Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 4, Number 157 -- Narrated Abu Huraira: I followed the Prophet while he was going out to answer the call of nature. He used not to look this way or that. So, when I approached near him he said to me, "Fetch for me some stones for ' cleaning the privates parts, and do not bring a bone or a piece of dung." So I brought the stones in the corner of my garment and placed them by his side and I then went away from him. When he finished (from answering the call of nature) he used, them.


  21. Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 4, Number 158 -- Narrated 'Abdullah: The Prophet went out to answer the call of nature and asked me to bring three stones. I found two stones and searched for the third but could not find it. So took a dried piece of dung and brought it to him. He took the two stones and threw away the dung and said, "This is a filthy thing."


  22. Sahih Bukhari Volume 5, Book 58, Number 200 -- Narrated Abu Huraira: That once he was in the, company of the Prophet carrying a water pot for his ablution and for cleaning his private parts. While he was following him carrying it(i.e. the pot), the Prophet said, "Who is this?" He said, "I am Abu Huraira." The Prophet said, "Bring me stones in order to clean my private parts, and do not bring any bones or animal dung." Abu Huraira went on narrating: So I brought some stones, carrying them in the corner of my robe till I put them by his side and went away. When he finished, I walked with him and asked, "What about the bone and the animal dung?" He said, "They are of the food of Jinns. The delegate of Jinns of (the city of) Nasibin came to me--and how nice those Jinns were--and asked me for the remains of the human food. I invoked Allah for them that they would never pass by a bone or animal dung but find food on them."


  23. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 433 -- Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "On every Friday the angels take heir stand at every gate of the mosques to write the names of the people chronologically (i.e. according to the time of their arrival for the Friday prayer and when the Imam sits (on the pulpit) they fold up their scrolls and get ready to listen to the sermon."


  24. Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number 494 -- Narrated Ibn Umar: Allah's Apostle said, "When the (upper) edge of the sun appears (in the morning), don't perform a prayer till the sun appears in full, and when the lower edge of the sun sets, don't perform a prayer till it sets completely. And you should not seek to pray at sunrise or sunset for the sun rises between two sides of the head of the devil (or Satan)."
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